Far away from home
It's been 3 years since I decided to move to Sweden
for indefinite time. I did it for love, for better education and like everybody
else, for better life. It's a strange feeling to leave what you know - comfort
zone - behind and decide to take a big leap into the unknown world. People are
usually afraid to take the first step, but that part is the easiest. Start is really
thrilling, you are playing a role of tourist. There is always the same small
talk:
“Where are you from?”
“Slovenia”
“Ah right, Bratislava must be really nice.”
“Well, no that's Slovakia. Slovenia is a bit southern,
next to Italy.”
(awkward smile)
And so on…
I better stop here, because I just realized that 3
years abroad made me bitter about this topic.
To continue, the hard part is when you blend in and
leave a comfortable tourist role. You are expected to speak the language, adopt
to a new culture and be humble about what this second home is offering you.
However you are in constant inner fight because your home country all the
suddenly becomes a unicorn with no flaws.
Another thing about living abroad is that you are
usually surrounded by foreigners and you get used to people coming and leaving,
but it never gets easy. "We are all tourists in each other's life. We take nice
pictures, have fun together but we are aware that it will come a day when we
will go separate ways" (reference from Parks and Recreation). This is true, but
some people leave a mark in your life and some even become your friends...if
you're lucky.
Needless to say, you miss your family and friends. It
takes a great effort to keep those people close. You miss birthdays, births and
all the other important milestones. You go on a roller coaster of emotions
every time you visit your home. First it's happy up-feeling, then half way into
your vacation people start reminding you it's almost over and you get panic
attacks because there is still so much to do, so many people to visit
and then in the end there is the goodbyes. Knowing that you had a good time,
means being sad you're leaving. And you are, but you are also happy to go back
to the life that you build on your own. That's the beauty of living abroad, you are
writing your own manual of how it functions.
And now I'm sitting here, thinking that it's been a
fun ride but maybe it’s time to pack my boxes and head back home... is the sentence
I wrote before I took my long summer vacation in Slovenia. After 3 weeks there,
that flawless unicorn became a horse again and I'm excited to be back in my
second home and not even winter cold scares me right now.
To conclude this in the beginning depressing post with
a little quote of hope:
"Home is not just the place where you happen to be
born. It's the place where you become yourself." - Pico Iyler
